In my last post about kindness and car salesmen, I wrote about the Third Force, the mystical reconciling power that helped me stay peaceful during the purchase of a Prius. When I surrendered to something greater than my wary reluctance, the car-buying experience was infused with loving kindness.
Surrendering to the Third Force offers win/win outcomes for all involved, even if only one person in a conflict is aware of and cooperating with the principle.
But how exactly do we surrender? In a culture that conditions us to be right…to assertively state our needs… to take action to get our needs met…is it even possible to submit to an unseen, unknown, infinite mystical power of reconciliation?
One of the things I recommend is P.R.A.Y.
P is for Pause – When an unrelenting opinion, the need to be right, or other destructive energy obliterates our normally good intentions, it is often helpful to step back, take a breath, and pause. In the power of the pause, we notice our reaction. Our reaction is a habit based on our tiny “relative” perspective. In truth, we live in the realm of the Absolute. A Pause helps us remember and opens us to possibilities beyond our conditioned responses.
R is for Respect – We start with a pause. Then we need the willingness to let go of our practiced stance and see anew. Respect invites newness. The word respect means “re-speculate” or see again. We practice respect when we see the perspective of another through new eyes. We see how their perspective matters, how it feels like reality to them, just like our perspective feels like reality to us. Respect asks, “Help me to see this person or situation differently,” knowing that there is always more than one available view.
A is for Appreciate – Once we loosen our grip on our view as the only view, we can appreciate. The Third Force lends us this paradox: in the Absolute, opposition is not against us. Opposition exists “for” us – for our greater awakening. When we appreciate, we see that whatever happens is for our growth, our deepening, our evolving spiritual maturity. We gracefully anticipate that something wonderful will be born through the appearance of opposition.
Y is for Yearn – Our appreciation invites yearning, that is yearning for the newness that will inevitably arise through our graceful surrender to the Third Force. To paraphrase the 42nd Psalm – “As the deer longs for water, so doth my soul long for God.” My soul yearns for reconciliation, a win-win, the perception of Wholeness in every being, and an experience of Absolute Reality.
So that’s it, that’s what works for me and for members of our beautiful congregation. It’s not always easy, but it is simple. Pause, Respect, Appreciate, and Yearn — and life blooms in Full partnership with the Divine.
What helps you surrender and/or stay open to reconciling possibilities?