In the first post of this series, I wrote about how we are summoned by love.  Love summoned me to India and Gandhi 3.0.

I asked people, “When Love calls, will you say ‘yes’?”

One of our readers, Shelly, wrote in the comments section: Love is calling. I hear it. I am answering but sometimes that stupid party crasher ‘unworthiness’ gets in the way.


Shelly needs a better bouncer at her party because she’s amazing.  She’s an entrepreneur, a talented writer and life coach.  She’s beautiful, a great wife and mom, a wise and good soul – plus she’s been on Shark Tank and she knows Oprah.

Even with all our “credentials,” unworthiness does tend to crash parties.  It barges in like an unwelcome guest with bad manners and B.O. to interfere with our noblest intentions.

The first time Nipun invited me to a ServiceSpace retreat in Northern California, I felt completely unworthy.  The first night of the retreat we sat in an opening circle.  We shared who we were and what we were feeling.  I said to the group, “I feel like I should have eradicated homelessness or something prior to this event…”   In other words, just as I am, I don’t deserve to be in this circle with all of you people who have shaken the world with your acts of kindness.

People nodded in recognition and chuckled.  Others admitted similar feelings.

Absolute Reality stepped in.  As soon as I acknowledged my unworthy thoughts, grace found me.  She illuminated an insidious trap of relative perception:  comparison.

Comparing ourselves to others; comparing how things are to what we think things should be; getting opinionated and emotional about it all; then treating it like Truth – all of these things bind us to the relative.    

I saw this, at the ServiceSpace retreat, sitting in a circle in Northern California, with complete strangers who all seemed better than me.  In that moment I remembered: we are all extraordinary ordinary beings with perfect imperfections, simultaneously qualified and unqualified for this place called existence.  Oddly, our imperfections make us perfect.  Our lack of qualifications often qualify us… This is Absolute.  (If you want greater understanding of this paradox, please click here).

This new Absolute Perception freed me.

When Love summoned me to India; and I looked at the impressive people on the attendee list;  I didn’t compare.  I belonged.  In Absolute Reality, we all belong.


Reflections:  Where are you caught in comparison?  How can you shift to a more Absolute perspective?  How do you engage a sense of belonging just as you are? 

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6 Responses to Belonging

  1. Thank you Bonnie,
    As I’m living the lessons in ACIM, the teachings of unlearning what I think I see and know as truth is just an illusion, and so as I’m personally letting go of the fabrications that have brought me here I am also seeing the light shining through the cracks, and it feels ohhhhh so peaceful !

    Love and blessings my Friend,
    Michael Stilinovich


  2. monweld says:

    I’m not sure how I stumbled across this blog and it’s clear I was meant to find it as I’m lovin’ what you’re laying down here! Especially the words and thoughts that nudge me towards discomfort. That’s when I know I’m circling the gold.

    Keep on keeping on, sister!


  3. Pingback: Preparation | Daily Beloved

  4. I used to feel like I wasn’t a part of the human race; ostricized, discarded because I was somehow defective. What’s the point of going on any further? I commited suicide and failed at that as well. My journey forward from my suicide attempt 12 years ago has been one of amazing discovery of who I truly am. I discovered the man I am in my heart…and he’s a beautiful man! Once I realized that it was me-myself-and I that was imposing an artificial barrier of feeling ostricized, I then took action to eradicate that thought and feeling entirely form my being. I now lead a life of hope, happiness, with a genuine sense of purpose. Thank you for your post Bonnie!


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