After years of worrying about whether or not I have a right to exist; after a lifetime of concerns about being good enough – I have decided to enjoy my life.
Nothing changed. God did not reach a hairy arm out of the sky and hit me with a voodoo joy-stick.
I just decided. I decided to stop waiting for self- improvement. I decided to relinquish the need for circumstances to change. I decided to be consumed by a joy greater than I Am.
I am no longer interested in measuring my worth by accomplishments or LIKES on Facebook. I measure my life with laughter. I measure with compassion, kindness, play, and rest.
While I still see the occasional disapproval of others, I won’t allow it to tether my joy. I remember that disapproval is often projection. I remember that all beings are unique works of nature. And to disapprove of myself or others from a place of pettiness, shame or comparison is like telling a giant redwood tree, “Try not to be so tall – couldn’t you be more like a fern?”
My shadow still exists, but it is more friend than enemy. I am the witness of the shadow, not the shadow itself. Even on the days when my shadow tells me I have failed to enjoy my life, I am willing to find comedy in the failure….
Joy, like most of God’s blessings, fills us so we can empty ourselves of it, give it away. If I wastefully scatter joy into every moment, into every person I encounter; if I recognize that sorrowing, suffering, crankiness and all undesirable inner conditions are joy in disguise, joy seeking to emerge; then I dance with joy and invite the world to be my partner.
Will you dance with me?
Will you decide to enjoy your life?
It has been a pleasure serving you in this series of 28 posts. I will take a brief hiatus and will be back soon with more words.
In Joy, Bonnie