Teach Them Who You Are

My husband and I visited Sedona Arizona to attend a seminar on the Sedona MethodOn day three, we spent much of the day in meditation.  Afterwards, I was blissed-out.

We returned to our hotel.  Then, I decided to cross a four-lane highway to visit a metaphysical bookshop. In my meditative haze, I walked a little close to a car zipping down the street.  The driver blared her horn and sped by… or so I thought.

I arrived in the parking lot of the bookshop and the driver met me there.  She had pulled a U-turn on the highway to come back and yell at me. 

“Are you inebriated?” she shouted.

“Um, no, I’ve been meditating.”

She launched into a tirade about my shortcomings.  I felt like I had put her in an awkward position, so I apologized three times.  When the tirade continued, I said Namaste, bowed, and walked into the bookstore.

She followed me and continued to yell, surrounded by crystals, tarot cards, and books on conscious living.  Finally, I politely told her I was done and we went our separate ways.

When I got back to the hotel, I asked my husband, “What do you think she wanted?”

“She wanted you to feel as badly as she does,” he said.

I didn’t comply with her wishes, because I didn’t feel badly – just puzzled and compassionate.

I’m not always as poised as I was with the woman who kicked my butt in a metaphysical bookstore.  But I think of this incident when someone is upset with me.  If I’ve done something wrong, I apologize.  And if they want to continue the fight, I respectfully acknowledge that I don’t have to participate once I’ve apologized and made amends.

I call this teaching people how to treat me; or teaching them who I am – a flawed, wonderful, compassionate person who is willing to apologize but not willing to be kicked repeatedly for wrongdoing.  Our willingness to hold this integrity affirms our worth and blesses everyone. 

Is there someone in your life who needs a calm, kind lesson on who you are?  Where do you find the poise to face difficult people with grace? 

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6 Responses to Teach Them Who You Are

  1. Joann Landon says:

    ahh yes! I was trying to do this with my son, but not in a poised way. doesn’t work either, and then I wasn’t who I am (or becoming:)) My husband was able to humble me, as in remind me that my worth isn’t dependent on anyone respecting me. Then I saw that I need to respond to my son’s grouchy disrespectful attitude with a gentle reminder. Still trying to break those old conditioned responses, that’s for sure! Thank you for this post as well as all of them!


    • Bonnie says:

      My pleasure Joann,
      As I remind you, you remind me. I too struggle with the old conditioned responses that seem so right and logical at the time. 🙂 Thank goodness for self-forgiveness! Blessings to you and your loved ones – Bonnie


  2. Jill says:

    This post really connected with me; it was a classic “aha moment.” I love the line ” And if they want to continue the fight, I respectfully acknowledge that I don’t have to participate once I’ve apologized and made amends.”

    What a brilliant and peaceful way to look at a power struggle/conflict. Thank you for sharing.


  3. Scott says:

    Truly poignant words for me, Bonnie. Thanks for the reminder of the wisdom which I knew and the sweet, swallowable delivery which I didn’t. Among the soft, insecure and empathetic, boundaries and tough love can be kryptonite. The idea of turning this weakness into a strength to be taught has me rereading this almost daily since it published. Please take all my gratitude and love, for it has already been returned tenfold. 😉


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