Live as if Your Eulogy is True

In sixteen years of ministry, I’ve presided over about seventy funerals.

Often, waiting backstage before the service, I feel surprising joy.  “Calm yourself down,” I say.  “Stop putting the fun in funeral.”

But it’s hard to suppress.  I suspect I’m connecting with the liberated soul of the deceased.  Plus, I know that when we step onstage to celebrate a life, there will be an avalanche of love, loss, and beauty.

Everyone dies too soon.  Everyone has a rich past no matter how impoverished they seemed.  Every deceased soul, (if they happen to be eavesdropping on their own funeral) gets to hear a ton of nice things said about them.  This happens even if the deceased was flawed and sometimes unlovable.

And here’s the dearest thing – young people who die, children and young adults, are as significant in their impact on loved ones as those who have lived decades.

Everyone matters at funerals.  Funerals are beautiful.

The best funerals tune our living heartstrings with joy, regret, and the chance to be better.  It’s not a matter of self-improvement for we already are everything.  It’s a matter of living anew with the grace we’ve been given.

You won’t escape death.   That’s a blessing because there’s always resurrection.

You also will not escape the outpouring of love at your funeral.  I’ve seen it happen too many times.

So now, while you’re living, and getting ready to doubt your worth, you must imagine that someday someone will stand at a lectern and eulogize you. 

Most assuredly, they will talk about how meaningful, and special, and dear you were to everyone. 

What if you could believe in your timeless goodness before you die? 

What if you could live as if your eulogy is true?   

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13 Responses to Live as if Your Eulogy is True

  1. VICTORIA SORLIE-AGUILAR says:

    Whoa. This one resonates.

    ________________________________

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  2. Ah. Woman. (aka, amen)

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  3. Linda Dye says:

    As always, thank you! Blessings and love!

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  4. Christine Voth says:

    Inspiring message! Thank you! I have been to 19 funerals of family members and about 19 funerals of friends or coworkers. At each service,I wondered if the person who had transitioned knew how much they were loved. (You are correct that people will say nice things even about not-so-nice-people.) Witnessing these losses was a lesson for me in appreciating people while they were alive, and telling them that they are loved. Thanks for the reminder that it’s important to appreciate ourselves while we are alive!

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  5. Susan Kabel says:

    So beautifully written and so meaningful. Thank you ❣️

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  6. Rebecca Herrera says:

    Ahhhh – A new view on FUNernal, at 17 my mother’s was my first,..at times it’s still painful, now 38 yrs later I can say it was FUN and meaningful hearing others say how kind, sweet, faithful, loving, devoted to family, God and more…Bonnie -Thanks your a soul Physician

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  7. Annie Kohut says:

    I must admit I never looked at funerals as being funny but always enjoyed when humorous occurences by the deceased were shared. You opened my eyes to a new way to look at life and death. Thank you sweet Bonnie.

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    • Bonnie says:

      My pleasure, dear Annie. I have to say, it felt a little weird to confess feeling joy at funerals, but I really think it is a connection with the deceased and eternal life. I am blessed to have done a lot of memorials, supported by the ever-loving Annette, Barb, and the Practitioners. They merge joy and sadness and loss and love so beautifully. Love to you. xo

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